Prevention VS Reaction

When people hear the words self defense they usually think of karate, carrying a gun, pepper spray, or they imagine how they would fight off a violent attack. All of these have one thing in common; they evoke fear and are reactive.

Many people believe laws will protect them from violence. Laws are important, however, they are reactive. Laws are only effective after a crime has been committed. They are after-the-fact and designed to punish the guilty, not protect the innocent.

Laws are like fire fighting, we need the Fire Department after the house is in flames, and no matter how quickly they put water on it, damage is done. It's smarter to embrace Fire prevention VS Fire fighting -- what can you do to keep your house from burning?

Accepting that there is nothing we can do to prevent an attack is the same as saying there is nothing we can do to prevent the fire. That is a victim mentality.

Eighty-five percent of all violence against women and children is by someone they are familiar with. That means it is not random, and if it is not random it is predictable, and if it is predictable it is preventable.

To be truly safe or “Predator Proof” we have to learn prevention. Education is the answer to our safety. Following are some key safety prevention tips.

Make it a priority to predetermine your personal boundaries
• Boundaries can be physical, emotional and social.

Communicate and defend your boundaries
• Our words must match our action. Communication is 65% body language, 25% expression and tone of voice, and 5% word choice – make sure they are congruent with the message you are sending.

Don’t judge a book by its cover
• The familiar predators do not look like the bad guys in the movies. If they did, they wouldn’t be good predators. You can’t tell who the sinister people are by the clothes they ware, the hair, the eyes, or if their teeth are good or bad. Focus on their behavior, not the stereotyping presented in the media.

If something feels wrong, it probably is
• Give attention to your intuition or gut feeling. It's there as a messenger, you have nothing to lose by investigating that little voice inside.

Someone continually crossing the line or testing you after the line has been drawn is a red flag. At the very least the person is oblivious and disrespectful, and at the most they could be a predator looking to harm you. There is no greater deterrent than a confident, aware, and direct person.

Other thoughts ...