S.C. predator waited for isolation to act

Predator crimes fall into one of two categories: a crime of opportunity or pre-meditation, which means the victim knew the predator. The predator case involving a kidnapped 14-year-old-girl in South Carolina who was raped for more than a week in an underground bunker was a crime of opportunity.

The predator was recently sentenced to 421 years in prison for his repulsive act. To stop predators like this, it's best to educate ourselves on how they think and choose their victims.

Vinson Filyaw, the South Carolina predator, wrote from his cell: "Like a predator, I waited on one lonely stray to walk by."

A predator needs Isolation, Vulnerability, Control and Privacy to be successful. As this young girl walked home alone from her bus stop, Filyaw accomplished the Isolation he desired.

He then moved in for the interview. Although he posed as a police officer, he stilled relied on his predator mentality to test the victim with words or touching to gain her trust and see if Control could be achieved. During this interview, the predator is looking for several cues indicating that the person is controllable or easily manipulated.

Using this technique, Filyaw was able to talk the girl into his car where he gained Control and Privacy.

What should be learned from this horrible tragedy is to not allow a predator Isolation or Privacy. Do not allow yourself to be taken out of the public eye from an unknown person or a person you don't feel comfortable with. Trust your instincts. Many lives have been saved this way.

And if you're out of the public eye for reasons out of your control, be aware.

To her credit, the 14-year-old did some very smart things when she was kidnapped.
Once she was in the bunker, physical fighting went out the window. All that would have gotten her was beaten up or killed. Instead, the teenager humanized herself to the predator. Predators do not view their victims as people, as human. They are meat.

In this case, the young girl humanized herself and gained his trust. I truly believe that saved her life. A predator is not going to take someone into a bunker and rape her for a week or a month and just let her go.

By keeping her wits about her and not giving up, and gaining the predator's trust, the young girl was able to get his cell phone to "play games" and send text messages to her mother, which led rescuers to the bunker.

Setting Boundaries Repels Predators

A predator needs Control, Privacy, Vulnerability and Accessibility to be successful. Setting boundaries and enforcing them wards off potential predators by creating a strong persona that the predator finds unappealing. The following boundaries are universal to children, teens, college students and adults.

- Know your boundaries. Predetermine how you want to be treated. What you allow you encourage.

- Allowing an invasion of your boundaries sends a message that you can be controlled. This is a major attractor for the predator.

- Someone who keeps trying to invade your boundaries sends a message that they do not respect you. That is a red flag.

- If you do not take time to predetermine your boundaries, you may get caught off guard and become confused and possibly abused.

- Always keep in focus your predetermined boundaries. Healthy, good and positive people will respect them. Disrespectful, sinister and negative people will be repelled by them.

- Don’t give your trust away easily. Keep your encounters with people in context of the relationship and the boundaries you've set.